If you've listened the new episode of the Bispectacult you will hear a long winded conversation between myself and Dave of the Bispectacult about what video games should be made into movies. We briefly touched on this list, but the question was mainly roused by the god awful game turned movie, Hitman, which was by all accounts god awful. Here are my top 5 picks.
5. Dig-Dug
A horror-action movie with Jet Li as Taizo Hori, the games protagonist. Set in the near future, an ancient race of underground fiends known only as the Pookas have been awaken by a cataclysmic meteor strike. During the day society exists as normal, but during the night the Pookas lead raids against the surviving humans. It is up to Taizo to lead an expedition to the "darkworld" to defeat the Pooka warlord, where he encounters, among other things, the Fygars. Initially thought to be villains as well, Taizo soon teams up with the benevolent, reptilian species who wage endless war with the blood thirsty Pookas. Shit, that sounds too much like Underworld. Oh well, as long as Jet Li uses a "mega pump" at least once, in addition to gun fu.
4. Joust
This Could so easily be a movie I have no idea why the fat cats in Hollywood haven't turned this into a heartwarming coming of age fantasy film in the same vein of Eragon or the Chronicles of Narnia. Starring Heath Ledger as the older brother and Zac Efron as the younger, a story of two young warriors who must mount up on their ancestral bound ostridge and stork, respectively, to wage war against the evil pterodactyl lord, Sargerion. Amoung the way they must fight and defeat Sargerion's most trusted lieutenants, Bounder, Hunter, and the Shadow Lord; played by Robert Patrick, Jamie Presely and Michael Ironside, respectively. Heath must turn evil, for a little while at least.
3. Splatterhouse
Rick Taylor, played by Justin Timberlake, enters West Mansion with a group of fellow grad students, including his girlfriend Jennifer, who are getting away from the city for the weekend. On their first night there at "Splatterhouse" (as the locals call it) zombies and countless other abominations attack the students, killing off Rick's friends, kidnapping Jennifer, and leaving our protagonist for dead. When he awakes he finds that an ancient Mayan artifact called the Terror Mask, that is actually an alien symbiont, has binded to his face and grants him supernatural strength and abilities. He must now go from hunted to hunter, destroying the foul beasts that killed his friends in a mission to find his girlfriend before she is sacrificed to Dark Gods. Think Evil Dead meets Evil Dead 2. Also Jeffry Combs as Herbert West would be way to obvious.
2. Bomberman
LAPD Detectives Richard Brooks and Santos Veracruz must stop a rash of serial bombings that is causing terror and mayhem across the City of Angels. It's a race against time as...wait, hold on... it's been done.
1. Altered Beast.
In all seriousness, this could be one kick ass movie. The main character, played by Tim Olyphant, referred to only as The Centurian dies a glorious death on the battlefield fighting in the name of the god Zeus'. Soon he is resurrected to serve as Zeus personal champion, granting him powers to shape shift into fearsome man-beasts, in order to save his daughter Athena. Tons of CGI, tons of slow motion, and tons of half-naked, oiled-up Greek dudes... you'd think they would have already tried this.
5. Dig-Dug
A horror-action movie with Jet Li as Taizo Hori, the games protagonist. Set in the near future, an ancient race of underground fiends known only as the Pookas have been awaken by a cataclysmic meteor strike. During the day society exists as normal, but during the night the Pookas lead raids against the surviving humans. It is up to Taizo to lead an expedition to the "darkworld" to defeat the Pooka warlord, where he encounters, among other things, the Fygars. Initially thought to be villains as well, Taizo soon teams up with the benevolent, reptilian species who wage endless war with the blood thirsty Pookas. Shit, that sounds too much like Underworld. Oh well, as long as Jet Li uses a "mega pump" at least once, in addition to gun fu.
4. Joust
This Could so easily be a movie I have no idea why the fat cats in Hollywood haven't turned this into a heartwarming coming of age fantasy film in the same vein of Eragon or the Chronicles of Narnia. Starring Heath Ledger as the older brother and Zac Efron as the younger, a story of two young warriors who must mount up on their ancestral bound ostridge and stork, respectively, to wage war against the evil pterodactyl lord, Sargerion. Amoung the way they must fight and defeat Sargerion's most trusted lieutenants, Bounder, Hunter, and the Shadow Lord; played by Robert Patrick, Jamie Presely and Michael Ironside, respectively. Heath must turn evil, for a little while at least.
3. Splatterhouse
Rick Taylor, played by Justin Timberlake, enters West Mansion with a group of fellow grad students, including his girlfriend Jennifer, who are getting away from the city for the weekend. On their first night there at "Splatterhouse" (as the locals call it) zombies and countless other abominations attack the students, killing off Rick's friends, kidnapping Jennifer, and leaving our protagonist for dead. When he awakes he finds that an ancient Mayan artifact called the Terror Mask, that is actually an alien symbiont, has binded to his face and grants him supernatural strength and abilities. He must now go from hunted to hunter, destroying the foul beasts that killed his friends in a mission to find his girlfriend before she is sacrificed to Dark Gods. Think Evil Dead meets Evil Dead 2. Also Jeffry Combs as Herbert West would be way to obvious.
2. Bomberman
LAPD Detectives Richard Brooks and Santos Veracruz must stop a rash of serial bombings that is causing terror and mayhem across the City of Angels. It's a race against time as...wait, hold on... it's been done.
1. Altered Beast.
In all seriousness, this could be one kick ass movie. The main character, played by Tim Olyphant, referred to only as The Centurian dies a glorious death on the battlefield fighting in the name of the god Zeus'. Soon he is resurrected to serve as Zeus personal champion, granting him powers to shape shift into fearsome man-beasts, in order to save his daughter Athena. Tons of CGI, tons of slow motion, and tons of half-naked, oiled-up Greek dudes... you'd think they would have already tried this.
Remember those DVD extras I was frothing at the mouth about? Newsarama has some details:
There will also be a 2 disc Special Edition DVD available for $24.98 SRP which contains additional bonus features including a documentary about the pathology of the super villain and three bonus episodes from the Justice League animated series selected by Bruce Timm.
For the litslut in me, this sounds fab:
“Comic Book Commentary: Homage to the New Frontier” - This documentary is a nod to the fans of the New Frontier comic book. This featurette further expands the themes contained in the source material, and how these elements were truncated or evolved for the inclusion in the film. Featuring vivid imagery culled from the pages of the New Frontier comic, mixed with the commentary of Writer and Artist Darwyn Cooke, this featurette is a treat for both fans and scholars of the medium.
Check out the Warner Bros. New Frontier DVD website, as well as DC Comics' New Frontier Minisite for the graphic novels and action figures. (thanks wabbitseason!)
28/11: Delay
Hey guys, just wanted to drop a line saying that the podcast for this week has been recorded (Dave! Dafna! The return of Kid Chris!) but work/life hasn't left me much time to edit the extensive ramblings of Kid Chris on the topic of Maximum Overdrive. Fear not, the new episode should be up later tonight/early morn and we really think y'all will enjoy it!
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